When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
