He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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