Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
