They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
