Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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