i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
