My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
