my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
high people should be assigned attendants
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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