And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
