I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Dear god my vagina.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
