What a fucking waste of an outfit
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
