so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
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He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
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It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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