Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just invented taco cereal.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Naked Twister starts at high noon
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
