just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
