there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
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Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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