Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
