from now on my penis is your penis
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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