marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
