Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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