he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He shit in the fireplace
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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