bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
