Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
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we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
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No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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