i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
