Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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