if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
