i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
