So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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