i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
