So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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