Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
