Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
