she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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