This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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