Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
