You smell like a Billy Joel song
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
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