Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Panties = found
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
