You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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