When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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