im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
