Just cropdusted the office
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
