Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
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Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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