Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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