you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize