She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
