We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
