how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
