I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
