he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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