Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
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I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize