He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
