I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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