you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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