He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
