Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
