Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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