he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
