it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
