i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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