i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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