i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
