she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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