i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize